It seems I do not have a normal family. If I had a normal family, breakfast would go
like this:
HUSBAND, LOOKING AWAKE AND HANDSOME, TO WIFE: Hi, Honey! What are you eating?
WIFE: Nothin', Honey, except these corn flakes that are highly nutritious, low in sugar,
low in cholesterol, high in fiber and loaded with more vitamins than the leading
competitor.
HUSBAND: That must taste terrible.
WIFE: No, Dear. Every bite is bursting with flavor.
HUSBAND: The flavor of what? Liver?
WIFE: Hah-hah! You are so witty. Here, why don't you try some.
HUSBAND, PICKING UP CEREAL BOX: It's empty. Did you eat all the Cracklin' Corn Flakes?
WIFE, LOOKING SLY: Why no, Dear. You ate half the box yesterday, remember?
HUSBAND: Of course. So why are we talking like you're trying to sell me a new product?
WIFE: Because that's what loving husbands and wives do on TV commercials.
On the contrary, here's breakfast in the Modica dining room:
HUSBAND, RUSHING OUT OF THE BEDROOM WHILE JUMPING INTO HIS TROUSERS: Did the kids eat
yet? They'll be late for the school bus.
WIFE: Kids! Are your shoes on the right feet? Where's your lunch boxes? Why do your drink
containers have last Friday's juice crawling out of them? Ralph, get the bagels out of the
freezer for the kids' lunches.
HUSBAND: Kids! Why is the dog lying next to his empty food bowl with that starving look in
his ribs? Who forgot to feed him?
WIFE: I'll grab the napkins for their lunch boxes.
HUSBAND: Here, catch these cookies and toss 'em in.
WIFE: Kids, your lunches are ready. Here comes the bus!
HUSBAND: Gotta go. See you later.
WIFE: Wait! You forgot something.
HUSBAND: Grab your kiss as I'm flying down the hall.
WIFE: No, no. You forgot to put on your shirt.
Life as portrayed in TV commercials is either the standard by which my family fails, or
it's a window into an alternate universe populated by life forms that never graduated from
preschool.
Actually, it's quite true that I don't have a normal family. Normal by God's standards,
that is. Normal to God is slowing down and spending time with Him -- as a family. Praying
as a family. Studying His Word as a family. Putting aside our own ways of doing things to
allow God's power to take over. Asking God which cereal we should eat because He knows
what our bodies need at that moment.
Normal Christian living is quite different from the world's. Most of our knowledge of
how to behave, however, comes from the world -- through television people and the real
people in our lives. To learn how to live the way God prefers and be empowered to succeed
in living this way, we need to immerse our minds in God's how-to manual, the Bible.
Normal for me and my family, however, is this:
WIFE AS HUSBAND HEADS FOR DOOR: What did you eat for breakfast, Dear?
HUSBAND: Nothin', Honey.
